I'm a Non-Prophet for Sooth!

New Direction

2009-02-07T05:00:00.004-05:00

I have decided to take this weblog in a new direction. Rejoice my fair little people who worship me.

Though, this new direction will lead to loss of quality, personality and quantity. It will all be worth it because it is for the greater good.

I am planning to stop talking about how I'm feeling, no more post every day, and I will lose the serious tone. I will strive to be slightly comical or even merely mundane.

There will be no reason not to read. Nobody will be sad or conflicted or offended. There just won't be anything there to feel offended about.

Yawn

2009-02-06T12:12:00.000-05:00

All of my dreams are fuzzy jpegs. Upon waking they're all compressed to the point of them barely looking like anything. They're all fuzzy to the point of you not being able to tell what type of car it is, but it is a greenish car. If there is a person, you only can remember if it is a guy or a girl and tell the color of hair and skin.

I wonder, if dreams are really dreamed like this. They're just fuzzy by nature and in your sleepy state you see it clearly. Or if it is in HD when you're feely processing it but when you wake up all you can do is discover little thumbnail snapshots.

I was on a boat, but after I was in a diner. The diner I was with people at. Or at least I thought it was a diner. I don't know why we'd all get nekid in the diners bathroom... Maybe it was a real bathroom and not just a excretion room. Perhaps in my dreams I'm even less politically correct than I am in real life.

In case you're worried I was with three ladies. I'm not sure if they were royalty and them my servants or of I was King and they're my wives. Wow, bigamy is cool when you're the king.

It is 3 AM and He Will Not Be Snoozing

2009-02-06T03:00:00.000-05:00

We've suffered here too long

It isn't what you think
Where have our heroes gone?
Ah ha, that is the thing
While we've shot down the good men
And raised up the politician
We've been protected
By the neglected
There sits the proud man who's brought us through our pain
He sits there with strong shoulders and should be our King
Is there any reason to this eternal pouring rain?
How could he let us go when we're drowning?
We've suffered here too long
It isn't what we've been told
Where have all of our heroes gone?
What did give up for this stairway of gold?
While we've shot down all the good men
And we didn't spare the good women
We've been infected
Now we're rejected
There sits the man who brought us through the pain
I'm glad I'm singing out in the rain
Slumped shoulders and my eyes are draining
If you just stay afloat a little longer I'm coming
We've been suffering here
What do you think
Weep on my shoulder dear
To the contract in ink
We'll meet the man who brought us through the pain
The one who had us on his shoulders and should be King
He will see us even in the rain
It is 3am and he will not be snoozing

Final Correspondence

2009-02-04T11:30:00.001-05:00

And now I'm gonna shout

Shout it out loud
I won't watch what I say
I'll be censored anyway
And it's not even like I care
Because I know the truth's not theirs
Oh come on, someone, just wake me up from this
It's so sick, Idiotic, please wake me from this
Correct it, effected, zombies all around
Independent, torrent, zombies underground
What is it I don't get
You said you'd, never forget
What you do, Makes no sense
Tiny puppet, You're so dense
And I shout it, shout it out loud
Say it like I mean it, zombies all around
And now I'm gonna shout
Shout it all out
I won't get away
I'll say it anyway
Find yourselves before it's too late
Is the hour and the rest is fate
Oh come on, Someone, it's so sick
Correct the effected, idiotic
And there are zombies all around me Tearing at my skin
Their zombies all want me to be silenced

Keep an open mind

2009-02-04T10:00:00.000-05:00

While you sit there and count your sorrows
There are some who have no tomorrows
While you moan about your pay
To some this is their last day
While you bitch about this fascist system
Think about the lost and miss them
So don't you tell me that you're having a bad day
And that you're the only one who ever has to pay
Think of those who've gave it all
Think of those who've got the call
Think of those who never lived
Think of them think about it
Another day in pain an endless hell
He can't find a reason to smile now
See what he's doing see his bright eyes
He can't find a reason nor can I
Think of those who've gone away
Think of those who've gone to stay
Think of those they left behind
Think of them keep an open mind

Rhymes with Truck Too

2009-01-31T14:10:00.000-05:00

The past few years my mind has been especially old and grumpy. It was never young, it was never care free. I believe I know why now. Well, at least one inspiration for my old grumpy mind.

My father. He's one of the only people who ever instant messages me. Yeah. Going back to my childhood I have more memories of talking with him or working with him than I do of most anything else. Maybe my memory is fading. My mind seems to be the difference in our ages older than it should be.

It may also be because I find all kinds of things in common with Scrooge and House. In fact, my dad watches House too and we talk about it. Hmmm.

I do concentrate on the bad a bit too much, but maybe I just don't want to get my hopes up. My imagination might paint me a beautiful picture of prosperity if I let it focus on the positive. I wouldn't be happy with that, not after the daydream ended and the reality struck.

Realism is a separator. It has divided me from most of humanity. Since I really know me I realistically get kinda bummed out when I think about the future. I don't like anything. I don't see anything as being a benefit for me in the future. I can't see the future as being beautiful.

Then when I finally stop looking at myself and look outward I see scenes of destruction. Earthquakes, natural disasters, either real or fake it doesn't matter. The world is going to end because of the actions that have proved to be sound, just, and prudent. Maybe that is just what I see because I have this pessimistic prematurely aged way of thinking. I don't care enough to debate. I'm just really bummed they're killing in the name of, freedom from responsibility?

Do these people even know anything? These figures who hold themselves above us? The most I can tell is that they know how to feed off the peoples fears and hopes. They paint the world in these idealistic tones that never match, that don't fit, that are blatantly stupid. Everything will be better now though. They'll fix it. They know what went wrong, they know the one that is to blame is gone. They forget the facts. They forget to think. Ideology disables rationality and realism.

Sometimes I am so happy I know too much, but most of the time it is a curse. Nobody likes me, but do I give a shit? I don't know. I don't think I do. I'd really like for people to respond, to talk to me, but it isn't really convenient for them and they're too busy. I'd be required to come up with what there is to talk about and all I have got is "This isn't the way" and "I'm so happy, can't you see me smiling."

I'm pretty damn tired of it. Tired of everything. So, perhaps this is when I stop. I stop writing here. I stop talking to people who ignore me. I stop caring. Proclaiming everyone sucks and that I don't give a fuck. That does make me feel better after I have it written down...

Adios assholes.

Oh, Great

2009-01-31T12:10:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder how to get people to respond here. Then I realize, nobody wants to talk to me.

I can't say I even blame them. I don't really like myself. Come to think about it I really don't remember ever really liking myself. Sure, occasionally I feel pride when I do good, but that is too rare.

Good memories remind me of nothing. I don't even remember the good memories anymore. Any fun I have had is gone and all I feel now is the doom looming at the end of this pipe. Perhaps I'm being too gloomy. Perhaps. I can always bank on I'm wrong. That will really make me feel good.

I'm worth less that I am.

Tomorrow, April, Suggest!

2009-01-30T20:02:00.000-05:00

I guess I lied. I really don't have anything to say. I thought I would have something to say eventually today, but I don't. This has become a real problem.

Tomorrow I see some fake Beatles sing some old Beatles songs. Hurray?

In April I have to make a presentation on Richard Wagner and The Ring. I don't feel like typing out the long n word. I never learned it yet. I don't know how I'm going to sample it. I might just need to hope it's on Youtube. Is it an Opera, a play, a story, or all three rolled into one giant German fury of nationalism and myth?

Well, I don't know. Suggest something, please.

Doughnuts!

2009-01-30T15:30:00.000-05:00

Donuts are small. Doughnuts are big. The spelling dictates the size.

I've been listening to the radio again and I've caught a song that has the following in the chorus, "If I was innocent would you take the blame for me?" It really slapped me in the face. I didn't make heads or tails of it until I though of another song I liked. "I'm Not Jesus" is my response to it.

I found out I pronounce drown wrong. I corrected myself and pointed it out. Whatever.

There will be another post today, this one sucks.

Cyanide

2009-01-29T20:30:00.000-05:00

I have just read A Mid-Summer Nights Dream or maybe not? I may have been day dreaming about reading that dog turd for hours. Black female horse!

In the News: Gas stations in California to close, not due to falling gas prices, due to the mandate that they purchase new "vapor reducing" nozzles.

Also in California company's that convert your car to a plug in hybrid are expected to be dealt a deathblow. The cause is they wish to make sure, via a hundred thousand odd dollar test, that cars meet special environmental standards.

Ahh, dreams of fresh air and epiphanies tend to actually be nightmare's! Of course only big corporations will survive. Which is cool with California, they can't tax the pants off small corporations. (The more you make the more you pay to the state exponentially!)

I love it when anarchists side with big royal money.

Politics is a circle, where the extremes fight those in the middle. One extreme wants to revert to old tried and failed ideas the other wants to abolish all ideas. The common enemy is the ideas that prove to be good.

I'm running away. Not really, but I won't post again today.

Can't Be

2009-01-29T16:00:00.000-05:00

It has been said at least once, perhaps more times than once, that "I need a translation as to what you just said." This is terrible. If nobody understands what I say, who am I? They won't know.

This is most terrible news. I, I, I don't know what to make of it. I always understand what I say, because if I didn't I wouldn't say it. I do say it, so I do understand it, but apparently other people are not me. Which is possibly the stupidest thing that I can say. Of course other people are not me. I am one of a kind. Who else is awesome like I? While you attempt to contemplate that superhero I'll go get a frozen water off the porch.

There is no ice in my water. Woe is me.

America's future, what the heck is it? All America is anymore is a consumer. They consume stuff. Mainly they consume Goods; I fear for Zach's safety! All of these goods are Made in China. If there is a job in America it is service, because we love it when people serve us. Restaurants, gas stations, grocery stores, and all other kinds of things could be replaced by your microwave and a warehouse.

These warehouses, they're mega huge. They're Walmart, and K-Mart, and Meijer and who ever else I forgot. Just goods on walls, you collect them and begone! Few people are needed to maintain this sort of place. Fewer than small places. There is a new warehouse on the scene though. It is called the internet.

Now what? We can't build anything cheaper. We can build things "better" but arguable quality doesn't deserve this kind of markup. There is nowhere for us to go. There are no jobs out there. There is nothing that requires humans. Soon, humans will be obsolete.

So how does America do it? How does it stand when it can't even afford it's expensive goods? Luckily we are doing what the USSR did not. The USSR folded for many reasons, but the one argued by it's genius economists was that their socialist republic wasn't large enough. That is rich. America sits upon the head of China. They make everything for us. Together, we are one country. 80% suffer to support 20%. The proles, they support us.

I haven't a point here. I can't think. I can barely think of these words to put together to say what I'm saying. So I'm sure I'll bungle something. I can't stand behind my words. I don't know if they are even mine. Peace or something. Later I will make more sense. I hope.

What Whitey Has Done For You

2009-01-28T16:00:00.000-05:00

I need to stop screwing around with fiction and write a non-fiction future of the world. I always run into the, "what happens next?" part. I should just rely on logic as to what happens next.

The communists hug the terrorists and blow the shit up out of the capitalists. End of story, or is it just the beginning? Well, here is what I know.

Most of the inhabitants of what is now known as The United States of America came here for freedom. For the first it was the freedom to eat caribou and bison. Eventually it was for religious freedom. There are many who came here not seeking freedom. Those who were sold into bondage by other tribes, or their own, didn't think they would find freedom here and didn't. In time though, white made right.

Eventually they fought to maintain their freedom! The colonists from the colonial power. We didn't want to pay taxes if we couldn't vote for King or something like that. We had no power so we made them leave.

Eventually we wanted to leave our selves and we fought until we didn't want to. And every person was freed.

Now, I've been told that the white man is quite evil. So how about a world with no white people?

"When exiting Africa no men ran after the Glacier in the north." Thus, there was no Europe.

Think about those implications. There was no Greece, no Alexander, no 300 Spartans. No Rome, no Caesar, no Jesus killers. No Jesus, no church, no Christianity. Perhaps there was no Muhammad copying the bible. No Stonehenge, no Camelot, no Queen Victoria. No English, no German, no Russian. There is nothing there. Just trees and rocks and queer animals.

Democracy never spreads. Africa looks nearly the same. The middle east too. I highly doubt there is an Israel, but I highly doubt there is a "Palestine". Who are the powers of the world? Most likely nobody. China may be fighting themselves or Japan. Japan may be fighting themselves. There is no grand enlightenment, no technology. Gunpowder started in China but we were the first to use it. White people, not Americans.

I see the America's as the same as they were in the 1000's. Nobody is spread to them. I am a beardless Native America with even less hair on my legs. I don't speak English, that is for sure (England doesn't exist. Foxes and sheep own the land) and I like it.

Africa still is starving and disease ridden. There are fewer people though. They have no white man to give them money for a ride on a Jeep. They die younger, sooner, and they don't have Aids meds.

Without whitey the world would suck. Since I'm not all white I get to exist. We wouldn't have horses, but our women wouldn't have mustaches. I'd be middle aged.

The world would suck. Everything would suck. And I'll have more posts that start like this. None will be about what the white man has done, but it will be about unsung heroes or where I think this shithole is going.

Time Ticks Away These Last Few Moments

2009-01-27T15:00:00.000-05:00

I don't care. That is a truly horrible mindset. Sure it shields you from having to elaborate your feelings and opinions on things that don't effect you, but what good comes of it?

We can not afford apathy! Up front it costs nothing and thus it is so sexy, but down the road you lose everything.

This mindset gets in the way of investigation. If we all blindly accept what others tell us, we have already lost. And nobody cares.

People don't care about too many things. People aren't responsible anymore. They see this as liberating, as freedom. Freedom from responsibility is freedom from life. Freedom from life is death.

Are we really ready for freedom from life? Or do I need more reasoning? Alright, here is some of my reasoning.

Bailouts, mortgages, entitlements, lawyers, three degrees of murder, blurring the line of torture, big bad Bush and Cheney are listening to you, abortion, the new definition of tolerance, political correctness, and this guy who I know nothing about is president. We're bailing them out because they FAILED. We can't let them FAIL because too many people would get HURT. People HURT and can't PAY their mortgages. They're entitled to welfare and can get paid to go to college. Lawyers are changing the meaning of everything without amending the constitution. Murder can be charged in so many different ways it is horrible to even communicate without a damn law degree. Is interrogation torture? IS IT? MAYBE? They're only listening to you if they have a reason to listen to you. It isn't them either shoe for brains. Once upon a time abortion was the mans way of keeping a woman down, keeping her his sex slave. Now the fuck is on the other vacuum. Being tolerant means that you give up your ideas and drink their koolaid. Political correctness is the willingness and concise decision to be wrong. I've listening to his words, I've listened to them long, I can't tell you what he stands for, there is no rhyme or reason that he has kept all along. Except for hope and change.

Too many people don't care. I don't want to not care anymore. I don't want to say nothing when they take away the communists, the social democrats, the trade unionists, the Jews, the Catholics, because I know there is nobody there backing me up. I am the smallest minority, an individual. The last one to die, that won't be me.

I pledge, that I will do my job to care. Being a good person isn't nearly enough. All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. No longer can we sit back while evil festers. How is it I am just now thinking this? Haven't I been living the past 8 years? Don't I remember late 01? Don't I remember 02?

We have been free, free to not think, to not know, to go with the fat drunken naked baby Dionysus while others sacrificed everything. Now as the scope of the problem is finally known to those who were so quick to criticize, what will they do? I don't know. My powers as a non-prophet only see despair. I can't tell if it is the current, the past, or our future.

Sitting back, not acting, isn't good. Sitting back, not thinking, is evil. Too many have missed the scope of the problems and their causes. I've tried to keep my eyes open. The weight of the world, is crushing me. I do not even hold it, or help support it. I am merely observing it. It is far easier to look away, but god won't turn me into a pillar of salt. I have hope. I have hope that as the cities burn, as the masses riot, as the scales turn, as the fools now try it, that there will be a tomorrow.

EVERYBODY IS A VICTIM

2009-01-26T11:30:00.001-05:00

Are you a victim? If you think about it for a minute you can say yes. Either your sex, race, or whatever has been a "victim" even if you haven't. So you're a victim too. This is a bunch of shit, but I said it because the rest of the piece is going to explain to you why I think it is a bunch of shit. Be warned, I'm not pulling my punches and I'm going to use salty language. I won't ask for you to pardon my french either. By the end of this you'll be a victim. Tough shit.

This who business of reparations and "original sin" of America is a bunch of hogwash. Now I'm not saying you shouldn't wash a hog, but when you do you're changing nature. I didn't own any slaves, I don't own and slaves and I ain't never gonna own any slaves. It has been illegal for over 140 years and no more actual slaves live. So this is shit.

The gays are victims. I don't know how. They want to be married in the eyes of a god who would smite their fruity asses. Oh, no that isn't it. They just want to be married. They don't want their children to be bastards. Wait, homosexuals can't reproduce unless their adulterous. BE SPECIFIC in what you want gays. You want the benefits that a normal MALE-FEMALE married couple has. You want to be a family, you want to share your health, dental, whatever benefits. You just want everything the "breeders" have. You want to be accepted as normal when traditionally you'd be considered mentally disturbed. You can cite notable homo's in the past. But, what do YOU contribute to society? Will your ways make our society go the way that all of those previous society's have? Aww shit.

I've been told that the Church is this horrible bigoted place. I mean, you have your Roman Catholics. A lot of them are German or Irish. You have your Protestants. You have your other denominations that I've forgotten because my infidel god doesn't make me memorize them. Most "black" people are baptist. So, black people aren't excluded from this bigoted church. Most Mexicans and various other Latin American peoples are Catholic. No bigotation there. Where are they bigoted? Oh, you mean the whole don't kill the babies before their born bigots? You mean the "gays" shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony bigots? Forgive me for being so bigoted and not seeing it your way. The Mormons have given up their old ways. They used to all have beards. Now they all want to be clean shaven. They used to have many wives, now it is one at a time. What is up with this shit.

Affirmative action, the NFL's Rooney Rule, please. You're just discriminating against white people. I'm not saying I'm a victim because I'm white, but I'm saying this is a whole bunch of shit.

Hamas shoots at Israel. Israel is a victim. Israel shoots back, Gazans are victims. What, I can't talk about real shit?

The environment is a victim of our CO2! The more I think about it the more I get angry. Fossil fuels being burned cause this CO2 in the Atmosphere and where did the fossil fuels come from? The earth via decaying dinosaurs? Where did the dinosaurs play? On the earth? So, we're releasing the dinosaurs "souls" that have been trapped in the earth for thousands or millions of years? Oh good infidel god of mine! I can't believe Al Gore got so many people to fall for this shit.

You will notice every single paragraph ends with the same word. It just happened by accident. I can't make this shit up. I mean I could do it ad hoc but then I'd be some evil bastard. And I'm not. Hope you liked this victim post, hope you agree that everything is a giant steaming pile of shit.

I Agreed

2009-01-25T19:33:00.001-05:00

This could be a general rant. I can't come up with anything that I can string out past a few sentences.

So, finally in this "recession" people are learning to save money whenever they can? Maybe I'm just too far out of touch with humanity these days. I would think that people would want to save money whenever even when times were booming.

New Metallica is kinda lame. By lame I mean pathetic. Hackish.

I hate it when people use words in odd ways. Just a few days ago the Good King and I were talking about Shakespeare, Sonnets, and Sappho. I disliked the three S's and he said something to the effect of, "No grace for the apostate?" No agility for the made up word? I googled it and came up with bubkiss. Then I dictionary dot com'd them. Turns out the Good King called me essentially a bigot. I agreed.

On my facebook I've joined a few groups. One is "Che's a murderer and your T-shirt ain't cool" and another one is "Erfworld". One is a statement with historical accuracy and the other is an awesome webcomic staring Parson Gotti. Parson looks like Mike Hill to me. That is it on this subject.

Rage Against The Machine is so lame. It seems that they wrote all their songs in Cuba and decided to aim them at the US.

Isn't it odd that the 60's are being relived? Yeah, I'll pick up this one again. I can write on this.

I almost missed today. That'd make 3 days in January that I missed. That'd blow.

Peter Pan

2009-01-24T14:00:00.000-05:00

It starts with a dream and from there it changes. That is how most of my ideas work. A crazy nonsensical dream that barely makes sense in small doses, let alone the entire piece, will inspire me.

So now, I am writing. I'm writing a story I seek to be worthy of my own self. There is no end, there is barely a beginning. I don't know where it will go, but I'm hoping it will be entertaining throughout.

If I believe the work worthy of myself and worthy to show to others I will share it. If I think it sucks like a black hole, you won't hear a pip about it. Have a pleasant day.

I'm Only.....

2009-01-23T10:00:00.001-05:00

"Never reason with a fool"
Lostprophets remind me that in their song "The Fake Sound of Progress". It is something I should pay more attention to.

War is hell. I'm not going to quote that, because I don't feel like looking up who originally said it. I'm sure some cave man said it, but it wasn't recorded. So I look back at history, American history, and look at all of the military deaths that we've ever experienced. These are small numbers. Small when compared to others, small when compared to those who really have faced war.

The American revolution, War of 1812, the first two major wars, when we became independent. 25,000 died during the Revolutionary war, 8,000 of them in action. The war of 1812, near 20,000 died, 2,260 in action. Look at those numbers. LOOK AT THEM. Pretty freaking huge compared to wars of our era. Not the era of our fathers and grandfathers, but for our modern era huge.

The Civil War, to my knowledge, the last war on American soil. 212,938 Americans died in action, but the war deaths totaled 625,000 or more. A half million? Keep those numbers in your head, or don't. I may ask you later, or tell you later.

World War 1, the war to end all wars, the great war, we barely got involved. Over 50,000 American soldiers died in action. Our total dead were 116,516. Over 100,000. Are tears welling up in your eyes for those who died? Or are you just seeing statistics?

World War 2, remember it? The one where we got attacked by the Japanese? December 7th, 1941 is a day that will live in infamy. By the end of the war, nearly 300,000 Americans had died in combat. 405,399 American soldiers died. Less than a half million, but far too many. Far too many for anything. Why were we even fighting? We were defending freedom I think, but only the Japanese had it coming.

The Korean War, best known for M.A.S.H. 36,516 soldiers died, American soldiers, fighting communism. We saved South Korea, but not the whole shebang.

The Vietnam War, The big horrible one. You know, the one that is in every modern war film from 70 on? Our soldiers were "baby killers". Our soldiers were drafted. If you didn't want to be drafted you could turn Muslim, run to Canada, or go to College. 47,424 Americans died in action, a total of 58,209 died in result of the war. Our boys, our children.

Until the Iraq war, that was it for large deaths of Soldiers. Other than car accidents and other accidents. The gulf war claimed 299 Soldiers. Every one a tragedy. Somalia, Black Hawk Down, 43 soldiers died.

Sit there a second and take it all in. Thousands have died, to bring freedom. Thousands have died to defend freedom. Thousands have died to keep a united freedom. Thousands have died to protect others freedom. Thousands have died responding to other nations actions. Thousands have died fighting communism. Hundreds died freeing the Kuwaiti people. Thousands have died freeing people and expediting martyrdom.

We sit, with over a million dead in war. Most have died on our soil. Most have died at our hands.

Now why would I start saying this now? I saw an article on American deaths. Not at the hands of soldiers, or "freedom fighters" or armed combatants. Not at the hands of inner city youths or drunken husbands. I saw an article on American deaths, prior to birth, committed by Doctors. Thousands per day.

More black men kill black men than soldiers have died in Iraq.

Since every life is equally weighted, I can't support anything. I can't support war, it is hell. I can't support inner city culture of death. I can't support doctors.

Of course this isn't an argument, it is merely a ton of words. They're just words. There is a point though. I can't argue one way or the other. I'm horrible at arguing. The most I can do is chuckle and act condescending. I can't use reason to win. It doesn't work.

Find the point. Find what I'm trying to say but can't. Find what I haven't found in my own words.

Only

2009-01-23T04:00:00.000-05:00

I'm fairly intelligent. Smart people think I'm smart. I'm not so sure. I've never had to try to do great. Now that I'm somewhere where anything less than great isn't worth my money I'm afraid.

Where others have tried and have done well, I've made like an astronaut and done okay. Everyone knows how to study, how to do things, and I don't. I've never known how. I'm bored at home but I'd hate to study. I don't know why either.

I know everything I know and it is always great, damn near the best there is. What happens when that isn't enough. When one on one leads to par, what hope is there for six on one? Shooting for par is shooting for mediocrity and that isn't good enough.

I can't imagine being busy all day. I can't imagine having to apply myself. I can't imagine a future. I can't see anything that tells me, this is your calling. I don't know why I tell myself there is no way out, that I should just keep plugging away at this life that I hate. Hate is too strong of word for my mild dislike.

The best time of the day is when I'm asleep. Followed by the first moments of the day when I can still remember it. Then, the peace that is short lived from there to the bottom of the stairs. And the peace of me falling into sleep again at night. That is the best time. No matter what I do all day, no matter how "fun" or enjoyable, it doesn't compare. Maybe they aren't working....

My best is an unknown and I don't know if it is any more than what I do every day. It could be worse and that would be horrible. I'm looking into my future and all I see is the past and failure. There is nothing ahead, there is nothing behind, there is nothing to see here.

Am I this genius I hope to be, that others think they see? Am I this idiot I remind myself I am every day? Whatever happened to the old me that had a future? I think he's been swallowed by nothingness.

This Quote Disgusts Me

2009-01-22T18:06:00.004-05:00

"The nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous."

Yeah. That is all. Not gonna mention anything past that about it. Well, not about the quote anyway.

Prosperity, isn't it great? It is the American dream is it not? I can't be against prosperity. Being against prosperity is being against progress, being against profit, being against sense. All business is built to make a profit, if it isn't it won't be a business long. Unless it is too big to fail. I can't stand this world. If everyone doesn't prosper then there is something wrong.

In every race there is only one winner. Second place is the first loser. Or are they all winners? Shucks, everyone tried hard. If I gamble and lose, I don't get to keep my money. Rarely does somebody do everything right and still lose. If they do, they should get back up and try again. Try try try again. Or off themselves.

Poverty shouldn't be comfortable, it sends the wrong message. Nobody should live in poverty if they can still do something. Those who can't do anything should be cared for by volunteers. Volunteer, charity, these aren't business models. They're other.

When favoritism is shown to those who prosper, then people generally get the idea that being prosperous is good.

Blink

2009-01-22T14:30:00.000-05:00

Humans live in the blink of an eye. How long have we lived and how long has the earth for comparison. We're just the latest blink.

All of civilization and all of its history is a very recent idea. What about the past is really known? The more we limit the scope of our inquests the more we ignore.

All history, all thinking of anything, is limited to the past few hundred years. The Holocene era, the past 11,700 years, is always chopped down to little bites. All we hear or care about is 1800 on. We spend more time thinking of it than we do the previous 500 years. And we ignore the time before, far too often.

Look at what it took to make man civilized, how long it took us to populate, how only the smart survived, how the strong survived, how we have always lived, and the world around us. Our growth coincides with global warming. The end of the ice age and the growth of mankind.

So, too many Americans would fight the Nazi's with wooden swords. That is what I'm saying.

Over

2009-01-21T19:45:00.001-05:00

Death is saving me. To properly understand, I'm not happy. I'm so far from happy, not happy is an understatement. No matter how unhappy I may be, I'm alive. That is sometimes all I have. I'm alive.
I'm treading water and growing tired. The greatest part of my day is being asleep. The second greatest is remembering my sleep and the dreams that don't make sense. Past that, I have nothing. Maybe I'll get on line and talk to no one. Maybe I'll write a weblog post that nobody reads. I'm sorry, you aren't nobody, you're just everybody. So numerous I could count you on a hand.
Past that, I've had aches and pains. I've had a cold. I've been allergic to cold temperatures. Right now my feet are freezing, but I'm not gonna do anything. Not because it won't be bad, but because I can barely feel my painfully cold feet.
Life is not all bad. I do have class tomorrow. How in the hell is that good? All things are relative I guess. I don't even know why I'm looking forward to it. Talk about boring and annoying. Humanity's, let us worship humans and all the culture they've made. Oh please, culture is what gives cheese taste. Bacteria. Whatever, I don't freaking care.
I have no future and that I'm nearly certain of. I don't know. Anything. I know everything I know, but I don't know where to go. From where, what to, do what. Nothing.
Talk to you tomorrow. Or not. I don't freaking know if you'll respond and not be busy. I do feel good for you that you don't have to put up with me though. Good day and whatever else.

Ice Age, Anthropogenic Global Warming

2009-01-21T13:58:00.002-05:00

Four times in the past half million years the temperature has been this hot. Look at what we're doing to the earth!

The problem is, these are short periods of time. Very rarely can life flourish on earth. The earth keeps freezing. Only 20,000 of the past 120,000 years have been with this climate. The 100,000 years prior to this, was an ice age.

Ice age is the normal

Unfinished Response Seeking Constitution

2009-01-21T12:00:00.001-05:00

Article one: People are people treat them as such.
Article two: Everyone deserves to live.
Article three: Respect is free, but not freely given.
Article four: Groups of people deserve the same rights as individuals.
Article five: People will let you down, don't put all your stock in any single individual.
Article six: Try to disguise any ill will if you can not shake it.
Article seven: Be level headed, level minded, and do not celebrate to excess.
Article eight: Do not get in the way.
Article nine: Listen, to people, to things, to all at all times.
Article ten: Make do with as little as possible for as long as possible.
Article eleven: No matter who you serve, you are da boss ok?
Article twelve: Caution is prudence, apply when applicable.
Article thirteen: Luck is a fickle god of the hopeless.
Article fourteen: Unless opportunity, responsibility or nature calls sleep in.
Article fifteen: If it is your responsibility, do it.
Article sixteen: If anyone can blame you for it not being done, do it.
Article seventeen: If you don't need it, don't buy it.
Article eighteen: Redundancy to you is waste, but others need it.
Article nineteen: Conserve this thing called common sense, it is rare.
Article twenty: Respect the wise accordingly.

These are perhaps rules I live by. I can not be sure. They all seem good and right, but I could say more.

Allow people to lose your respect.
Allow people to lose their rights.
Do or do not, there is no try.
Be vague, if anyone wants to know more they'll ask.
Explain when needed, otherwise keep it to yourself.
Be what you admire, but don't admire yourself.

People are Lemmings Amendment

2009-01-21T10:00:00.000-05:00

Someday I hope to write my constitution. The rules that I run with. They are my programming. They aren't ad hoc software that runs via an operating system, they're built into my very processing units. They're written or reinforced by machine code. Machine code isn't perfect for this modern world, my own machine code wishes me to be violent. Violence is suppressed on far too many levels to appear regularly. Though, occasionally..... I have a scar on my hand from hitting the refrigerator and a picture magnet on it. There is a hole in the dry wall upstairs. Rarely does violence occur.

Over at Zgoodword I mentioned an amendment to my own constitution. It wasn't originally in the constitution, but as I've grown old, jaded, bitter, cynical, and cold I've made realizations about the world and its inhabitants. Ergo the need for amendments. I do not have enumeration for these as I no longer need to think about them. Once upon a time they may have been part of my programming on top of the operating system, but now they've sunk into that very operating system. I am unaware if they are rerouting the hardware though. I don't think so because I still can execute actions outside of the programming. It just takes concious effort to allow the new input to be worked out.

"Far too often the majority is wrong; Be they blind, deaf, dense, shallow, or fools they're too often wrong. Maintain independence, do not join any movement that you can not escape from, never label yourself unless it is for exclusionary purposes, and never forget."

People are lemmings. Don't join them blindly, follow them to see where they go, but don't jump. Don't limit yourself to any specific group or special intrest. Never forget.

My feelings will betray me occasionally. I won't use my head and will just follow along. Oh, how foolish I feel when I wake up. Is this how other people live? Is this the deffinate difference in us?

I wonder what would be in my constitution if I were to write it. It would most likely be what we are told in Preschool days. Share, be nice, ask to use the potty. Of course these will need to be ammended. Sharing isn't always a good move. Being nice is relative and will need to be elaborated more, like voting rights. I don't remember the last time I asked to use the potty. It was a long time ago.

None of this is officially in my consitution past the quoted portion. Perhaps I will get back to this later. Maybe you should suggest to me basics of a constution. So, talk to me readers who may be in excess of 3!

Astronomy

2009-01-20T07:30:00.001-05:00

At long last my main man Gnawt has come through for me. I asked him what to write about and the answer was Astronomy.

Of course I went to the Garage Inc song by Metallica. Then I found out it was a Blue Oyster Cult cover. The more you know.

Gnawt informed me it was the one that had to do with astron's and omoys not guitars. Boy he is a party pooper.

So, what do I know about the stars? The sun is an example of one. It is a typical star. It goes to work, it pays its taxes. Errr, I mean it falls in the main sequence of stars. The color of the sun is caused by its temperature. Whites and blues are hotter (except for dwarfs) and oranges and reds are colder.

Now, I really don't wanna talk about other kinds of boring astronomy like shapes people see up there. I never saw what you crazy people were pointing at. Sure, stars are pretty, but I don't have a crayon to connect the dots with.

Scientists are trying to figure out things by looking far into space. All they've come up with are ideas that normally come from people using hallucinatory drugs. Glad to see they mingled with others while they went to college....

I hope somewhere out there not too far away is another earth that we can goto, because this earth as we know it won't last. There is a bloody ice age coming and if you don't believe me freeze your jewels off!

Song, self recognition, suicide, sands, Seneca, Spontaneity

2009-01-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

Well, as I listened to the radio this morning I heard that "Sometimes goodbye is a second chance" and perhaps it is. Though, arriving at that conclusion isn't a pleasant one.

To reach the edge where goodbye is a second chance there has to be a self recognized first chance. Coming to the realization that the first chance was had, attempted, and wound up in ruin can be painful. As if that wasn't bad enough, things must be so bad that there is nothing that can be done to salvage it; Otherwise saying goodbye wouldn't be needed.

The first shot is all that there is. It is the surrounding, it is the air, it permeates your very being. It is all there is. You want to give it up? I am torn between if this song is about suicide or just leaving. Then again, suicide isn't a second chance. Unless you don't think the devil will snatch your soul from the death and rebirth stream.

I've got to leave. I must. All I have is here and that is all there is. There is nothing not here that will ever be mine. The future isn't here. This is only the past and for the moment the present. The present keeps slipping away even as I try to touch it. Perhaps the present isn't even here. Maybe this is just the past. The part of the story that isn't told because it is so dark and dreary and not a part of the overall piece. I don't have the inclination to go back and parse my life to see where I should be or where I should have gone when I didn't. Mistakes were made and none of them really stick out in my mind.

"If a man does not know to what port he is steering, no wind is favorable to him." That is the reason why I am not at sea. Where in the world should my destination be? There are few things that I like and few things that I would like to do. Of all the things that I can imagine, the one thing I can't is what I should like to do for the rest of my life. I can write about things, but not for very long. I really wouldn't like to go to school to have someone tell me what I should write about either. Perhaps that is why I take such displeasure with going to school, what they say doesn't seem to matter. It is as if I don't think they're worthy of what I have to say. Be it a reaction paper to some old peice of art or a short little speech about some ecological problem. Boring to me, but that isn't why I ignore it. I ignore it because it isn't right.

Everything I do that is great is nearly spontaneous. Spontaneity only goes so far though and it ignores the silent trigger. There is always a trigger to why I do something. Without triggers I have perpetual writers block. For everything. Though, when I scale the wall by way of the staircase on the rock face I stop relying on external triggers and stimuli and run free. I am that big dog that runs as fast as he can and jumps only to fall back to earth with a hurtful jerk of the collar around his neck.

Still Awaiting, What?

2009-01-18T05:30:00.001-05:00

The common point of all good epic's is the hero and the triumph over adversity. It takes the relatively normal character and puts him between a rock and a hard place. Triumph over adversity!

My life hasn't been very adverse. All the adversity I have triumphed over has been through shortcuts or luck. No hard work required, or hard work didn't get me out of it. Now that I have to make a choice while adversity swirls around me like a noxious cloud I am utterly lost. I can't see a path, I can see where my steps will go. All I can see are a few holes in despair cave, one is close, but I can't see past the entrance, another is a little farther and I can't tell where it will lead, and only one other has come into sight. While this last choice seems to be the greatest shot at living, it is quite far away, across an uncertain bridge, and there is no coming back.

I'm so mortal, but this is untested. I have never died, but I believe a few times I have come close. Even if it isn't my actual life that hangs in the balance, the life I know hangs in the balance.

Throw

2009-01-18T05:08:00.000-05:00

I missed a day. I missed a day. I didn't post yesterday. I didn't have anything to say. Everyone I asked couldn't suggest anything for me to write about either. Gnawt I mean you!

Ever wonder how the National Socialist German Workers Party were right wing?

I'll answer it later, but I have a clue you already know the answer.

Darwin Ostrichised!

2009-01-16T01:50:00.000-05:00

Over at my daily browse Zgoodword I saw a post and responded. Then I decided to save it and post it here only to be stricken with a wandering mind. I eventually lost my work and now I restart it. This one I hope is better.

Thus hereforth comes the thought experiment to end this thought experiment.

Every once and awhile the simple survival of the people is no longer the main concern. When survival is too easy culture crops up to cull the herd. Diseases that only one man had, now spread to larger and larger numbers of people. These cultures, have come before and mysteriously vanished. They brought forth the arts, leaving them when they faded. Great prosperity came to them and they squandered it on emotional things and those chicken soup for the soul books rather than chickens and whatever pasta is made from. They indulged only themselves, leaving only a long jagged scar. Then, as sudden as their prosperity came, it leaves. Those who worked and played in culture are casualties of their casual-ity. Those who worked the old ways survive. Entirely unscathed by the foolishness that has brought doom to others. Occasionally the dieing culture will assimilate into existing survival based cultures, but not if they get a bailout.

I propose a "Bring Darwin to the Workplace Day". On that day coworkers on all tiers of the workplace will discuss amongst themselves how to survive in case of an emergency. Realistic things that they will give up and those who don't understand it and don't sign the damn contract, well we ship them to Detroit and show them what their greed does. There is no place for lack of concession. There is no place for greed. If the company can not make money, if the company can not survive, if it is a non-profit entity it dies. If the cost of living, measured in Calories, is larger than what they can refine from nature they die. Dumb animals die. Concessions are contingency.

Culture can't continue coddling criminal creatures claiming casualty could certainly cause collapse! CRIMINEY!

Excess brings extinction. Examine the remains. Cause of death, decadence. (Holy shit, decadence causes decadence!)

Humanity, Humanity, Goodbye

2009-01-15T07:08:00.001-05:00

I'm uncultured. This is good, I am not cheese nor am I yogurt. To me art is just a word short for "The Arts" that encompasses all that stuff. Things like "theater"(not cinema), music, paint sculpt, books poems, and movies are the phylum's of art that I have discovered in my head. Theater can be music, but orchestral and operatic in nature, or it can be plays, skits and performances that aren't limited to the stage. Music is commercially produced music. Paint sculpt is full of old sculptures, paintings, carvings, and other things of that nature.

I don't need to finish that though because my audience is the greatest group of minds ever or would be if I also read my stuff. The last book I finished was that Eragon book. It was rambley, long, boring, full of some action, and better than the last. Overall it seems to be par, of average quality. I haven't read many books recently. I really haven't read that many books at all. In spite of my great ability to read, I'm not a reader. At least, I don't read as many books as I believe I should have read. I also feel bad that all I want to read are fantastic in nature. Part of me wants to grow up and graduate to non fiction. He is a minority and if he doesn't pipe down he may become an unpersonality.

I can't remember the last movie I saw in theaters. It was that long ago. I really don't feel the need to watch movies either. I do watch a few TV shows, but only one do I give half a crap about anymore.

This humanities class is shockingly something to me. At some level it is ho hum at another it is interesting. There is so much that I am not I could get lost in it. Good thing I don't care.

I don't care that much about these fluffy bits of stuff! Civilization isn't measured by its "cultural index value". Giving a crap is almost stupid. Though, all these old things happened in the past. I am a great fan of the past because once upon a time it was the present and they hadn't really considered me being in the future. Tripping on my odd narcissistic mind trip? I hope so because that would mean it wasn't for naught and because I love me. The past doesn't quite repeat itself, but it does if the mind believes it does. Fox Mulder poster.

They don't make music like they used to. It used to be a grand elaborate planned out deal. Now, jam sessions for bands and a program on a computer for "groups" and solo "artists". I want a symphony! Deep, rich, sound. Not a "loop" rendered by a computer.

The past is behind and never will be again. If it's lessons are lost though, the past we shall be.

This Is What I Would Say

2009-01-14T04:04:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid socializing with friends on the internet was simple. All I had to do was send an e-mail or sign into Yahoo instant messenger. Either one or the other. My friends never spent that much time online, compared to me, but if they logged on normally we'd be chatting for awhile.

Contrast those olden days with this modern world. We have Facebook, we have Myspace, we have Twitter, we have weblogs, we have instant messengers, we can log in on our phones, we can text, or we can call each other on our phones if we need to get in touch. This decentralization of communication is big business and great for the flow of money, but how is it for communication?

And now for your viewing pleasure I submit a fictional conversation involving the fictional workings of fictional peoples fictional social fictional lives. I could fictionalize a conversation between any number of people to make my point, but I chose the number two. For the sake of my creative process one person will speak and one person only. He or she will be leaving either a text message to be picked up later or just a simple call on the answering machine.
"Hey John, Ivan here, your Myspace says you're in love with Jane, but your Facebook says you're dating Jessica! You playa!"
"Hey John, it is me Jessica, it is over! You told me you weren't seeing her anymore!"
"Dude, you're a fan of Ouija Board too! That is so sweet cuz I have another ticket for the show! Holla back and ask for Lester."

Maintaining all of these various social networks can eventually become too much to take for a mortal man. Inevitably a crucial time sensitive message will fail to reach the intended party in time and lives will be ruined. It will be useful finding new friends though, in The Twilight Zone!

All this because over at Zgoodword there was a comparison of a number of friends list on Goodreads list and the number of people following the same Good person on Twitter.

Beard Update: Top of the Morning to Ya

2009-01-13T08:13:00.000-05:00

For the first time in a long time, I've trimmed my beard. WOAH hold on, put down the torches and pitchforks! I only trimmed it to make it even. Perhaps it was noticed that on my left side there was a little patch on my chin with shorter hair than the rest. I had encountered a few hairs there that were brittle and broke off.

So, how much shorter is my beard? Up to a centimeter give or take a few millimeters. It looks more natural and less icky.

One might ask what I'm doing up at 8am. I could have set this to be scheduled during the 8 o'clock hour but that isn't my style. I have insomnia. Also I have a class to go to at 10. I also need to bring in wood, clean up after the dogs, tend the fire, and put some needed gasoline in my truck before going. Taking a shower would definitely be a plus too.

It is well established that I have much to do and only a few hours to do it. Well, at least I established it not much more than a few minutes ago. So, without further jibber jabber I bid all ye merry folk a good day. Same goes for the rest of ya slackers.

Re: Everywhere

2009-01-12T00:01:00.000-05:00

Extended Commentary

Reference: Everywhere

What am I doing here? I'm going to school at a slow pace waiting for an idea of what I really want to slap me in the face.

I don't know what I want to do. But, change is coming. No not messiah you silly. By the end of the year I will call another place home.

I should be scared. I really think so. I'm moving. I will no longer live here. I will have a new physical address. I might as well forget the one I have now. I will have a new phone number. Might as well forget the one I have now too.

I have few choices. Really, two. One is eh. One is woah. I don't know. Here I am 21, debt free, and I don't know what to do. Might as well be 18, but I can buy booze. Not that I'd drink.

I say debt free. That is important you see. Not being able to pay bills is one then, but then having to pay off debt too, that isn't good. I could borrow here and there, but why? Living in debt is living with more than you can afford. Sure someday you may pay it off but, today you're a slave. I don't want anyone to own me.

I have two paths ahead of me and there is no path less traveled.

UN, Joe the Plumber, Blah

2009-01-11T22:50:00.000-05:00

I made up a sarcastic mission statement, motto, creed, credo, for the UN earlier today. Then someone referred me to a top ten list and I fell apart. Number one is worthy of quoting.

If this is an emergency hang up and dial America.

Now, isn't that the truth?

Onto something else. Joe the Plumber. He's no longer a plumber, he is now a journalist. Before you tell me he isn't qualified I'll ask you a question; Who is the real Barack Obama? Oh snap! Joe did more to vet Obama than other journalists did, so it is only fair he get hired. Never heard of Pajamas Media? They're part of the Clintonian "Vast right wing conspiracy", don't cha know? Joe has gone to Israel, google if you dare.

I heard that some Harvard professor said that two google searches uses up enough energy to do something maybe boil a cup of tea or maybe just heat it. I didn't care. I googled my name twice. I'm nobody.

It is good that I'm nobody. I don't know who I want to be. If I was already someone that would add to the confusion.

I've gone and confused myself

2009-01-11T00:08:00.000-05:00

As I understand it a mortgage loan is me living in their property paying them back money that they bought the place for me with.

Their house, their money, they bought it.
I live there, I pay them back, for me.

I've gone and confused myself.

Being Chained To This Machine

2009-01-10T16:31:00.001-05:00

Back before we had the UN how did nations solve their differences? It is hard to imagine a world where diplomacy and gesturing didn't make everything all better.

World War One a battle of dueling alliances. After the war, they went back to the way things were before, except the losers had to pay for their sins. All was good in Europe and they had a lasting peace. Until the losers got back on their feet and decided, "Those bastards have to pay." This long lasting peace, where nobody was enforcing anything, wasn't long lasting.

World War Two was a battle of dueling alliances. After the war, the winners helped rebuild the land of the losers and let them be burned by their sins. All was good in Europe and they had a lasting peace. Unless you count the cold war between the Soviet Union and America. Soviets wanted an empire, they wanted payment for war, they wanted payback. This long lasting peace, was relatively peaceful and long lasting for the same reason me and my brother stopped fighting when we reached Middle School age, Mutually Assured Destruction.

There have been missteps along the way. The USSR went belly up because communism is a really stupid business model. The US decided to fight communism in Vietnam, Korea, and then there was Kennedy and the bay of pigs. The US gave weapons to those in the Mountains of modern Afghanistan to fight the USSR(The police recruited street gangs to fight the mob). We supported Iran in their war with Iraq. We supported Iraq in their war with Iran.

We still have a military base in Germany and the war ended in 1945. Well, World War Two ended then, the cold war ended around the time I was born or before I went to school. After we helped Japan rebuild their nation, we became friends. We don't talk about the distant past, because neither of us are proud of what we did or had to do. The Soviet Union was dissolved and it became for the most part Russia and the Istans.

Germany, the UK, France, and the US are allies now. We've all fought in the past, but all have given up on the plans, thoughts and actions that started the fighting. Germany doesn't want an Empire. France and the UK don't want a colony. The US doesn't want freedom or to save her friends.

Russia is bitter about their loss in the Cold War. They were forced to no longer fight, but their fighting spirit wasn't broken. That is just one important similarity between the old Soviet Union new Russia and Pre and World War Two Germany. They are relatively unchecked and have the will and desire to fight.

Peace can not come before the end of the war. If the end of the war comes before the end of the war spirit, you won't have peace for long. When one side wants everything and doesn't care who they kill to get it and the other side wants nothing more than what they have we have a problem. We do have a problem and it isn't the ever growing American empire.

Premature peace never lasts. Didn't Clinton fix the Palestine problem? I mean, he was in so many pictures with Yasser and the other guy. Didn't the six month peace agreement brokered by Egypt fix the Palestine problem? If Gaza has been blockaded how did they get all of their bombs?

The way for lasting peace is to destroy the spirit of the enemy. If there is no way to break their spirit there are only two choices. Either give up and allow him to win or destroy his body. When fighting for control of a pride, Lions fight until one concedes or dies. Since the enemy's credo is roughly "Death to all those who are different" I don't think they want peace.

Eventually we must come to a decision. If it must be, "Kill them all, god will know his own", it must be. That looks to have the best chance of a long peace. I hope I'm not alone in deciding that, "Allah is the only true god, and Muhammad is his prophet" is absolutely unreasonable.

Feedback is required

2009-01-10T00:50:00.002-05:00

To the best of my knowledge I have exactly one reader. That makes me frown.

So, if you know me and you know people who know me who you don't know if they are reading, let them know about me.

Or else I'll just be forced to continue on and on and on saying something to no one.

Respond if you can. Recommend topics too. Don't share stupid, I'm over capacity.

So, comment! I haven't had anything to say in like ten entry's.

Seven on Seven

2009-01-10T00:32:00.003-05:00

Until recently I only knew of the seven deadly sins. They're bad. Not only is deadly bad, but so is sin. Doubleplusungood! Then, I accidentally found out that there are heavenly virtues! Why does nobody care about them?

We know of Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride.
So who are Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience, Kindness and Humility? (Stripper names...)

Why be pure?
Spoiled milk tastes bad.
Why ration yourself?
After your needs are met you're good to go.
Why give to needy?
Some people deserve the help.
Why be industrious?
Waste of time is stupid.
Why be patient?
Good things come to those who wait.
Why be nice?
Explanation needed?
Why not toot your own horn?
Take some pride in yourself, but only as much as is warranted.

Too commonsensical and thus endangered.

Of course nobody cares about good traits. They're boring. I want Turkish delight!

Don't Let Him Down The Chimney He's EVIL

2009-01-10T00:31:00.000-05:00

Santa has become Satan.

Nobody believes in either.
One year it is "I'll do anything for a BB gun!"
Next year it is "I deserve an iPod."

Greed for material goods. One will give them to you if you're "A good boy". The other will give them to you if you "sign a contract".

They are both very mysterious. One lives in hell where it is hot; the other lives at the North Pole where it is freezing. Polar opposites, or places where no sane or living man ventures?

Both are red. Sure, one is a red demon and the other just has a red suit, but it may be just an illusion.

How can reindeer fly? Easy, they're half reindeer half imp!

He has 8 reindeer though, not 6. He has 6, if you don't count Thunder and Lightning (Donner, Blitzen) with the others!

This is a joke, I hope.

All I Got Is A Link

2009-01-09T23:20:00.001-05:00

Workshops of identity Culture and Empire article

My favorite part

The United States of America could have planted its flag anywhere it wanted and no one would have been able to do a thing about it.And what did we do with this arsenal?
We scrapped the ships, drove steel bars through the wings of the priceless bombers, and began the largest de-militarization in the history of the world.

This can't be true!

And I'm getting lazy

Not my First Amendment

2009-01-09T21:20:00.000-05:00

Alright this shit just has to end. Congress shall make no law...abridging... the right of the people peaceably to assemble... That is what is relevant for my post here. My right to PEACEABLY ASSEMBLE shall not be infringed! If only I saw a peaceful protest or assembly.

On the news today I see riots in Oakland apparently someone got shot when fighting with the cops.

All of these protests against Israel that are just public assembly's of a hate. If they mean anything they say or shout they're calling for a holocaust.

Riots are destruction of property and terror inspiring. These protests, I'd be found dead in a yamaca at one of them. Not because I'm allergic to religious stuff, or that I'm allergic to people who think different than me either. I'm just talking about the level of peace at these places.

There is intent and numbers, sounds to me like a conspiracy. That can not be though, they have been in theory wronged. I say in theory, but I really mean in hypothesis as a theory has legitimacy. Conspiracy is a crime. Now couple the crime with venomous shouting of inflammatory words and what do ya got? Arguably a mass of terrorists committing hate crimes with the intent to commit more.

It is so unfair of me to connect these words and these people. All they want is peace! That is what the swastika stands for right? Actually it is good luck, whatever. Replacing the Star of David with the swastika is classy. Comparing Israel to Hitler's Germany, that is rich.

I can see why they would. After all, I'm going to too!
Hitlers anti-Jewish crusade killed 5,500,000 civilians.
Israel's recent offensive has killed 800 civilians and militants.
Hitler killed 78% of the Jews in Europe.
Israel's killed .05% of Gazan's.

I'm not saying that they deserve to die, but friends don't let friends fire rockets at civilians.

The first amendment doesn't apply to any hate speech I may say so it shouldn't protect hate demonstrations either.

The world is descending into stupid. Crime is cool, crime is kosher, criminals are just freedom fighters man! I don't care if Che is your hero, he's still a murderer.

Elvis and Me

2009-01-08T23:59:00.000-05:00

So today was my birthday. Elvis would have turned 74. Whatever, I can't sing.

I love how being different is alright. Logically some differences make sense. Male or female, tall or short, pale or saturated with melanin. Now though, I am reminded I must not only tolerate but accept others as equals when their differences are freaking insane. Like idiots with too many tattoos, or piercings. Or those who choose to join a cult or cult like religion. I'm not gonna mention any by name, but it starts with an "I" and ends in a "slam". I'm not even going to talk about homosexuality, but transgendered people really have problems.

Now, I know, Islam is a religion of peace. I agree. After all it is Christianity with a downplayed Jesus and a middle aged Mohammad as the prophet. The biggest difference between Christianity in my eyes are the roles that Churches and mosque's have played in the beliefs of their faiths.

Overall what I am saying is that radicals are stupid.

This Post Needs A Title!

2009-01-07T22:39:00.000-05:00

I don't want to end today with no post and I don't want to go back to yesterday and modify when one of yesterdays posts were posted. Still, what to write about? Nearly the only rule I have is to not be overly political. I've already railed against America the Beautiful before so I should knock that off. So, I'll see if I can find something.

When peace is broken it is time to "Give war a chance."

You are an immigrant-bashing Uncle Tom because you oppose judges who legislate from the bench!

You have the right to protest, but that doesn't make you right.

I'm tired. So tired.

Well, lions have the first pick of the draft this year. They'll have no excuse not to pick someone worthwhile. They also have Dallas's first round pick. Pretty cool. So they could pick some useful people. Or they could squander it. The Lions had a perfect season this year. Good thing they didn't go to the playoffs to see who gets to pick first, they'd probably win.

Salty Language Rant

2009-01-06T22:37:00.003-05:00

It is really late so let me be brief in this argument. I say argument because it isn't an article and I don't want to pretend to be civil in my disgust.

Most of the time, I feel like America is worth fighting for. Too often thought I get woken up from my idealism by the realities of life in America. Everyone blames whitey for everything. Everyone wants someone else to be responsible, nobody wants their crimes to matter. It is a problem with the system when a minority is the majority in prison. It isn't the minorities fault for breaking the freaking law or pursuing a stupid ass ideology. Pull up your pants, I don't want to know you have a boyfriend you faggot.

In a country where cops are at fault for shooting someone who pulls something on them. In a country where boarder guards get sent to jail for shooting a drug dealing, convict, illegal alien in the ass. What in the hell is this shit? Are we not allowed to try to put criminals in prison? Are we not allowed to shoot dumb criminals? Are we responsible for nothing and everyone else is responsible for everything?

Here in the land of rape and honey where we let our villages burn because people should be able to destroy if they have strong feelings. Here where we build on fault lines, in hurricane zones, and all kinds of other retarded shit.

How dare anyone try to tell me how to live? I should be able to snort crack, drink beer, marry my cousin, and her 12 year old sister! Wait, what the hell? I went too far there. You know polygamy, not the under age, not the incest, not the illegal drugs, the polygamy.

Sometimes I don't give a shit if America lives or dies. We're so fucking stupid. Rot in hell, I hope Satan sodomizes you with a pineapple.

Reference: Oxfod Comma

2009-01-06T22:30:00.001-05:00

I was over at Zgoodword and I swear that dude is mocking me. Either he has the same problems I have or he is mocking me. I chose to believe in him mocking me because he is the OVERACHEIVING me. He is somewhat like what I would be if I tried. Sadly, I haven't ever tried. So it isn't fair to compare us.

I can be sarcastic when answering questions like , "What do you want out of life?" and it will help me cope. Though my sarcastic answer of, "To live every day" would just block out my thinking about it. This pain of not knowing anything that you want is horrible. It is the pain of nothing, all I have and all I want are located inside it. A black hole.

What long term decisions have I made recently? Lets see, I haven't shaved below my jaw since September. Does that count as a long term decision? And now people are demanding I keep it. I kinda like the goofy beard but now that I'm commanded to keep it I feel new weight on my shoulders.

I'm not saying I don't like my beard, I'm not saying that it isn't amazingly coarse and soft (AT THE SAME TIME), I'm just saying I don't know where this relationship is going. Sure, we've only been together for a few months, but I was close friends with her(beard) since March. So even though I've been fully committed to my beard since September, my beard remembers when we met back in March.

Making little decisions is hard. Occasionally I wonder, should I goto bed in this untired state and sleep or should I stay up all night until I'm genuinely tired and then sleep? I woke up yesterday at 10:30 AM and asside from a 1:30 PM - 4:30 PM nap I took today I haven't slept. I don't feel tired in the head. Sure I can tell I'm not the me I once was durring my peak operating time earlier today, but I'm not running in a chest high snowdrift.

Life is too short to only live once, so does anyone know where the secret level is where I can pick up another "man". I mean, one more death and game over....

Teh Relevent Linkage

Fictionalizing Non-Fiction In The Third Person

2009-01-05T23:59:00.000-05:00

I finally have proof that I am not a prophet! I can't see what the future has for me. I can't imagine where I will be in a year. Then again maybe I'm ignoring my gift for seeing the future.

All year long I've been playing with an idea in my head. When I woke up it was seared into my head. This would be a great story it spoke to me. So listening to the thoughts that I have when I'm not thinking I start fleshing out the scenario. Right now it is just a rough draft, but surely at the end, the imaginary part of the fictional world, it deals with the character that represents me leaving his simple life. No more hermit living with his pack of wolves, he's leaving. The prophet sees himself leaving the land he has always called his home in the story. I named him the prophet, get over it.

So, in doing this was I predicting the future or was I just trying to make the story move? Was the story moving related at all to me moving? Should I stop writing where I am the main character? All I can do to answer is ask, why shouldn't I be the main character? I'm the perfect protagonist! Don't believe me? Listen to what I write about myself now, promoting me and my agenda.

Taller than average, stronger than average, better looking than average, smarter than average, grumpy, sarcastic, great comic timing, has never failed unless he has given up, and the lone sense of reason in a land of dumb. I am all the best heroes. Aragorn, Frodo, Samwise, Gandalf, Gimli, and the fool of a Took too! I'm the funny half of Gollum, and I don't want to kill the stupid fat hobbitses. Alright, I lied. Sometimes I do want to kill the stupid fat hobbitses, but they deserve death. Though, I can't deliver death to all those who deserve it and I can't give life to all those who deserve it. The best course of action is to do nothing and make a joke. Wait for it, wait for it... I'm sorry, I really don't have a joke for this.

So, now that I've sold you on me being the perfect everyman because I am greater than everyman and the culmination of several great heroes, what is there left to say? I'm not a prophet? Oh come on, you're back to that again? Alright, I am not a prophet. My weblog says so! If I was a prophet, if I could see the future, wouldn't I be filthy stinking rich? Yeah, so it appears my gift can't reach that far into the future. My alleged gift I said.

So, if I am the prophet who are the rest? Well, there is a Good King, his first in command is a tall man from the southlands, there is an artist and his wife, there is a eccentric salesman and his wife, there is a drunk womanizer, and there are a pair of odd maidens. One is a typical princess waiting for prince (or King) charming and the other is some kind of odd elf who runs off in the middle of the night without making a single shoe print in the snow. Quite a cast of characters eh? I swear I'm not being very inventive with these characters, as they all do really exist in some form or another. Some of these caricatures are extremes, others are indistinguishable from a family portrait the artist would shoot.

So what is the point? I don't know what the point is, I'm not a prophet! I can't pretend to know. Well, I can pretend to know but pretending is pretty fake and I am most definitely not a false prophet. I'm a non-prophet! For SOOTH!

Free Write Flowing Wildly

2009-01-05T20:30:00.000-05:00

Today was a pretty day. It won't stay this way. I'm sure of it. Things are never good for too long. A few days ago we had melting temperatures, now we have ice. Ice over everything. Sometimes I hate water. Other times I drink it.

Walking, with shoes, on ice leads to falls. Why did I separate shoes? I've never fallen barefoot, but I've never tried it. I've never fallen in socks and I have tried it. It was amazingly effective. Maybe it is because my socks were moist and warm and froze to the ice on a small scale causing me to think that it is awesome for grip.

I don't like driving in the snow. It isn't because of the snow either. It is because of people that I don't wish to drive in the snow. I just don't want to overestimate their intelligence. Most of the time I require my dogs to be smarter than the people I keep seeing on TV or hearing on the Radio. I'm not saying my dogs are especially smart either. They are illiterate, can't understand English and don't understand when I yell they screwed up big time. I that isn't all true. I don't have any proof that they can read or understand English. It is very unlikely that they can though.

I saw a picture of Uncle Sam pointing at me with words accompanying the picture saying, "This finger wasn't made to press 1 for English." I liked it so much I remembered it. Remember the good old days, when people would give up the ways of the old country where they ran away from and assimilate into American culture? I can't believe I fell for that stuff for all these years. People are fleeing from oppression, war, unjust systems, and setting up the same systems. All of these "New Hablahblah" places that have very little to do with each other. I take that back, in general both the old country and the "New Country" hood have a few things in common; They don't want to speak English, speak in the native tongue, and in general dispise me. Why me? I'm an American. No hyphen needed.

Reminds me of someones profile I saw online, you see they were from NativeAmericanapolis, NativeAmericania. It was a stroke of brilliance even if he may have stolen it from someone else. Weilding someone elses genius is something I'm ok with. Unless you're weilding my genius, then I'd hope you either gave me props or money.

Money makes the world go round. Think not? This economic crisis has even stopped global warming. I don't know what the rotation has to do with global warming, but it was just an analogy or something like that.

I've been writing unpleasantly, not ranting, for far too long here. So, I must summarize for those who might not want to read everything. Dude it's cold outside. Speak English or try. To me there are two Indians and no Native Americans. Don't cry, it is cold outside and you've got a huge tribe.

Oh yeah, Happy birthday to somebody. Doubt he reads this, he's mean like that. I mean, he put two n's at the end of his last name. Who does that?

The Point is?

2009-01-04T18:06:00.001-05:00

I don't like New Years Resolutions. The very idea that I need to from this or that day forward I must give up or change something meaningful about me is poor planning. People just changing out of the blue because some little ball slowly "fell" sounds a bit insane. Unless I have an epiphany I will not change anything in one day. I think that I did arrive at an epiphany on New Years day or perhaps the night before, but patience my dear audience in time I may or may not speak of it.

Traumatic events can make you change overnight, such as Santa beating your parents to death with the decorations on the tree, but giving up chocolate or some other perceived evil just because the month and year both change is silly. It is like deciding to go to the dentist because you hit a wolf during a full moon!

Is it apparent that I haven't made a New Years Resolution? I'd give up chocolate, but aside from chocolate milk I don't remember the last time I had chocolate. Besides, chocolate is the trendy pick. I could decide this is the year to lose some weight, but have you seen me lately? I need to gain weight so I don't need to buy new clothes. I could decide this is the year to stop smoking, but I never began.

Right now I'm brewing an epiphany. I know I can almost have one but, it is just beyond reach. Let it mature for awhile and have other experiences add spices to it so that by the time it is ripe and ready I'll have nearly reached it on my own. Kinda ruins it. Oh well, nobody ever said that life was supposed to be fair.

I'm not going to randomly deprive myself of anything that I can have. After putting in real thought to what action or habit needs to be changed, I think I would start it immediately rather than wait for the new year to begin. I'm over thinking this by thinking about it. Right after waking up with a hangover and a funny hat is when most people will make their resolution. "I'm never doing that again."

Truth or Lies: Pick the poison

2009-01-03T22:45:00.000-05:00

I've always been told that honesty is the best policy. Only since I've been relatively grown up have I realized that it may be the best policy but doesn't have benefits. Lies go so much farther in this world. Big lies, little lies, all lies all seem to be great policy as long as they are believable. Great speakers all hold their audiences in the palm of their hand and they can get away with big lies.

We want to believe. As long as the want is large enough no truth teller is safe. The truth becomes lies, the lies the only truth and everyone listening become zombies. Fast zombies not the slow ones that couldn't catch a snail. Truth moves underground waiting for someone to happen upon it.

I'd prefer people to tell me the truth, but if it is about me they shouldn't tell me the whole truth. I can't handle it. To hear another person speak the words I think would destroy me. Think Fembots in Austin Powers. Immature movie, great analogy.

America and all it's people are so used to lies that they can't see them anymore. They find the truth fishy though. This is both extremely disturbing and a source of hope. If we can still tell the difference all we need to do is ride the cycle back to the top. The problem with that is it assumes the liars won't do a thing to cling to their monopoly.

Lies let us go on. The truth would hurt. The truth would cripple. The truth is heavy. The truth will set us free. Little white lies ease the pain. So, the truth in the right words is that I don't know. I don't know. I don't. No.

A Gateway To Graffiti

2009-01-03T13:30:00.000-05:00

I wish my computer was a gateway to the stars; A gateway to anything I would ever wish to know that has been found out. The closest I can find is the neutered net encyclopedia known as wiki. Half truths, bias, and political correctness have rendered it impotent. Wiki is no more a learning tool than Mother Theresa was a mother.

I can find no more than half sites on anything. Sites launched ten years ago that say "stay tuned for more updates" and haven't been updated since John Kerry was relevant. Or sites with articles on various things that are merely filler. "Kevin was the god of foresight and the Good Kings favorite oracle." I would be better off not knowing that little. I'd search the sight for the "god of foresight" and find nothing. I'd search for "the Good King" and find nothing. I wouldn't find nothing, I'd only find that one article, one single reference. I'd be better off not knowing, not wasting my time with such opinionated fodder.

For all I have learned on the internet, the country of Jordan was originally part of Palestine after the British decided to dissolve their empire, it hasn't given me a reasonable amount of knowledge for the time I put into it searching and scouring the web. I do know that Stalin was time man of the year once, Hitler twice, FDR three times, Reagan twice, Nixon twice, George Herbert Walker Bush once, George Walker Bush twice, the endangered earth(1988) once, and in 2007 Vladimir Putin won it. I know what a qassam is, I know there are about ten thousand people per square mile in Gaza. I know all these wonderful things, but it doesn't matter. It has taken me perhaps too long to find them. Their actual worth is minimal. Trivial pursuit and Jeopardy might have a use for some of that, but I doubt I'll ever see it.

Please note this is all off the top of my head, I didn't go searching for this stuff as I was writing, I am not a professional writer or a hack, I have a shred of integrity.

Lack of Aim

2009-01-02T20:10:00.000-05:00

Just like every TV show that goes on for too long I suffer from a lack of planning. This weblog is an example of it. I don't have anything to say past the first two posts. Every intention of this weblog has been spelled out. The last weblog I tried was eventually sullied by decisiveness of politics and had no reader base.

It seems my digsby isn't working properly. I have been unable to log in with my AOL instant messenger account. No big loss as nobody talked to me with it. Gnawt occasionally would ignore me or not hear me or have no reason to respond to me. I have nothing to say any of the time and don't know what to talk about. It is horrible.

As horrible as searching for the right word and never finding it. It is horrible to have nothing to say ever. It isn't that I have nothing to say, just talk and I'll talk back. I never have a topic, I never have a clue of what to say. Awkward silence is a staple. It comes right after the "what's up" and "how ya doing" stage. It really sucks. Sitting there like you don't like them or are too busy or are not into the conversation that could be, all because you can't find in your mind anything to say.

I can rarely find anything to say and when I have something to say it normally comes out in one or two sentences. Never can I not say something in short. I just had a deja vu feeling....

I can't plan ahead for anything, because I have no hopes and dreams. I have no idea what I want or what I want to do. Every damn day it seems like I'm just here because there is nowhere else for me to be. Really, I doubt there is a place for me to be. I have no hopes and no dreams.

Origins of the Prophet

2009-01-02T15:39:00.000-05:00

It is only fair that I tell how I became a prophet.

In the days of auld lang syne I displayed uncommon short term prophecy's. I perceived more than the others and I was herelded by the Good King for it. I openly couldn't tell them I wasn't a prophet as I would be staying in the Good Kings realm that night. So I went along with it. I am not a well of stories so in time I'd fade into the wood work. When it was best to re interject myself into the conversation I would add something wise or funny or both. I'm good like that. The Good Kings jester Yonatan was also good like that.

By a misunderstanding I became known as a prophet and wish to tell that I'm not a prophet! I can't see the future. I only have limited understanding of the present and past. Though, this understanding that I have come upon is uncommon in its totality. This uncommon sense I have is not a miracle nor does it see the future and can only fade to death if I starve it. I will feed this sense, spread the knowledge I find, and attempt to become as great as possible. Anything less than that would be quite unsatisfactory and irresposible.

I'm a Non-Prophet for Sooth!

2009-01-02T12:09:00.000-05:00

Some folk recently have alleged that I'm a prophet, but I have created this weblog to pronounce to you that I am a non-prophet organism! I talk to god and he hasn't seen a reason to talk to me yet. Apparently I'm doing alright and I don't need to change my course to fulfill his will. God would head slap me Gibbsian style if I did anything amazingly stupid.

I do not imagine now that I am doing Gods will. That would be arrogant of me and extremely stupid. Someday though, before the end of the rainbow, I know I will play a part. What part, in what, and when? If I knew it'd ruin my memior! You can't write a memior before you actually do something, otherwise it would upset cosmic balance and an angel would lose his wings.

So now that you know I'm just a man, not a prophet, and that I'm hopeful, yet not naive, I must tell you even more. For sooth could be for truth or forsooth but isn't! Why not? I don't know. I doubt anyone would even consider a weblog with the same name, after all I think I did a double layered pun. Pun's are normaly faux pas's, a poor mans sarcasm that is the lowest form of wit, but when you layer them and have both the layered meaning and the original meaning mean something profound, not cheeky and merely chuckle worthy, and precise while maintaining casual tone you're onto something worth actually texting. Not that I would text. Texting is for the frizbees.

My motives with this are to enlighten, cheer up, and motivate the souls of those fortunate enough to be able to read english. If you can not read english and are reading this, perhaps you'll miss the meaning of what I'm saying and think evil thoughts of me and to that all I can say is that God loves you but he's too nice like that.